You just can’t make it up

“Cern’s in France,” one of the cast of Martini Bond was telling me. “No, Switzerland,” I said. “France. My sister used to live there.” I quickly looked it up: “It’s on the Franco-Swiss border… Besides, it’s fiction, and I thought you could just make it up.” But one thing I’m learning is that you can’t. (more…)

June 25, 2012. Tags: , , , , , , , , , . Blogging, Comedy, Comedy writing, Fiction, Humour, Publishing. 12 comments.

Awards ceremonies: And the best newcomer is…

There is some debate about the merit of awards for fellow bloggers. But for us newbies, they are a great way of helping your blog reach those parts – or people – that, well, your blog isn’t reaching yet. As well as giving you something to write about. OK, I’ve got lots of things to write about, such as where to buy a meerkat toy (that’s a toy that looks like a meerkat, not a toy for a meerkat…we need it for a prop), but I’ve also found quite a few new blogs so I thought well, why not? (more…)

June 18, 2012. Tags: , , , , , , , , , . Blogging, Books, Comedy, Comedy writing, Publishing. 13 comments.

Guide to self-publishing

I wasn’t necessarily going to blog today but then I saw this: A 10-step guide to becoming a self-publishing ebook star in the Guardian newspaper.

Worth a read. But here’s the speed read if you have no time:

Be your own editor/designer/marketeer.

Work hard.

Have your own website (although the other day I read that websites were old news, what you need is a blog and Facebook…)

Preferably write romance – these authors sell 170% more than their peers.

Check out Copyblogger.

Oh, and have lots of luck. (more…)

June 7, 2012. Tags: , , , , , , , , , . Books, Comedy, Comedy writing, Humour, Publishing. 9 comments.

Shades of grey areas

Fifty Shades of Grey by EL James started out as an e-book, a colleague told me recently. He knows this only too well. “Can you write female erotica,” his agent had just asked him. He can’t. He writes non-fiction. His wife would never speak to him again… (more…)

May 20, 2012. Tags: , , , , , , , . Comedy, Comedy writing, Humour, Publishing. 13 comments.

Find your voice

At last, I’m getting close to a final draft of my play Martini Bond. Thought I was there a few weeks ago but it transpired I was nowhere near the final chapter. This has been a long haul. Five months, five drafts and counting. But a writer/colleague reminded me that that was nothing. It can take him years to write a book – the research, the rewrites, the rejections… The hardest thing for me has been the comedy: the laughs, the cries (of the jokes are so bad) and the puns (they’ve had to go). (more…)

May 9, 2012. Tags: , , , , , , , , . Comedy, Comedy writing, Humour, Publishing. 11 comments.

Stage fright

So everything’s starting to come together. The script is reaching its final stages…and I’m finding this the most nerve-wracking time in the process. I’ve taken on board most of what my script editor had to say. I’ve taken on board what the actors had to say and I’ve taken on board what joke writer Judy Walker, a former Sun newspaper cartoonist, also had to say. Even the bit about never wanting to see the script again… (more…)

April 29, 2012. Tags: , , , , , , , , . Comedy, Comedy writing, Humour, Publishing. 4 comments.

Vote for your favourite Martini Bond cartoon

I’ve asked cartoonist Judy Walker to produce an image for the cover of the book Martini Bond, which I hope to self-publish. We thought it might be fun – and helpful – to run a vote on which cartoon you all like best. The one that stands out, catches your eye, makes you want to buy the book! Please take part in this short poll.

Martini Bond with gunMartini Bond without gunMartini Bond brunette hair

April 24, 2012. Tags: , , , , , , , , . Comedy, Comedy writing, Humour, Publishing. Leave a comment.

Blood, sweat and fears

I’ve really cracked on with the second draft now. A few days off work helps to focus the mind – as well as re-reading the deadline I committed too: April 14 – or was that the 26? Writing’s a bit illegible…Anyway, best to aim for 14. Gives me more time for the inevitable third draft … I’ve also gone into a mild panic, well perhaps a bit more than mild. My palms are sweaty and I’m feeling sick. (more…)

April 6, 2012. Tags: , , , , , , , , . Comedy, Comedy writing, Humour, Publishing. Leave a comment.

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