Pre-results nerves: we all want A stars

“I’m more nervous about your play than I am about my daughter’s A-level results,” my friend emailed me. Her daughter can always retake her A-levels. And I can always rewrite the play. But that’s not the point. All of us – students and budding playwrights alike – want to get it right first time and score As (or should that be A stars?). (more…)

August 16, 2012. Tags: , , , , , , , , . Blogging, Comedy writing, Humour, Publishing, Theatre. 7 comments.

Rehearsal diet

Five days to go to the show, Martini Bond, and now the cast are doing run throughs. At the weekend, I’d gone along on the pretext of helping out, but it was really to keep a beady eye on the script…only what I hadn’t bargained for was no lunch. Twelve Rich Tea biscuits later I was feeling a bit sick. (more…)

August 13, 2012. Tags: , , , , , , . Comedy, Comedy writing, Publishing, Theatre. 8 comments.

Sporting gods of empty seats and dark arts

The stress levels are beginning to rise. We have one week to go until the show opens. We’re on the front page CommanderBond website, who told me their rivals, MI6, have also published an article on Martini Bond. The publicity is going well but tickets still need to be sold. (more…)

August 9, 2012. Tags: , , , , , , . Comedy, Comedy writing, Fiction, Publishing, Theatre. 4 comments.

The Olympic effect on Team MB

So Danny Boyle got the queen to be a Bond girl. Fantastic. So funny. Queen parachutes (wasn’t she pushed?) out of helicopter into the Olympic Games. Ohmygod. I’m going to have to rewrite the beginning of Martini Bond (MB). (more…)

July 30, 2012. Tags: , , , , , , , , , . Blogging, Comedy, Comedy writing, Humour, Publishing, Theatre, Writing. 9 comments.

Olympic challenge for theatre ticket sales

I’d heard anecdotally that theatre ticket sales could be hit because of the Olympics in London. West End sales were down on this time last year, I was told darkly. After all, the thinking goes, people have come to watch sport, not take part in the sport of getting on the Tube in rush hour. (more…)

July 26, 2012. Tags: , , , , , , , , . Blogging, Comedy, Comedy writing, Fiction, Humour, Publishing, Theatre, Writing. 5 comments.

Sounding off

It was terrible. The sound on the video didn’t work, Helen Niland, the director, was telling me after I’d just been to see her latest show Conference Call at the Ecetera Theatre in Camden. Still the night before had been even worse: the sound man hadn’t turned up because he’d had to work late. But with a mixture of downloads and some home-made sounds, the show had gone on. (more…)

July 23, 2012. Tags: , , , , , , , , , . Blogging, Comedy, Comedy writing, Fiction, Humour, Publishing, Theatre. 2 comments.

It’s getting messy …

“No more rewrites please! … My script is in a terrible mess,” that was the plea from one of the cast after another had asked for some changes. “Just noticed you have changed some lines in the last scene.  I am learning this scene now so I hope this isn’t going to change any more?” That was the plea from the actor who had, er, asked for the changes in the first place. (more…)

July 12, 2012. Tags: , , , , , , , , , . Blogging, Comedy, Comedy writing, Humour, Publishing, Theatre. 5 comments.

Martini Bond’s big break

I noticed that something had gone into my junk mail box. And I always, I mean ALWAYS, check my junk mail. Because one day there won’t be that spam from Nigeria demanding money because your friend has purportedly been held up at gun-point. No, one day it will be your BIG BREAK. And it will be sitting in your junk mail box, ready for auto-deletion. (more…)

July 2, 2012. Tags: , , , , , , , , . Blogging, Comedy, Comedy writing, Humour, Publishing, Theatre. 18 comments.

Does ‘sex’ attract the wrong crowd?

“We had a satisfying and funny rehearsal,” Helen Niland, the director of Martini Bond told me. The actor playing Bond girl Suzi Bazooki “showed off some of her various sexual positions. Twas a treat.” So the sex scenes are going well, then. Which is great. Because sex sells. I hope. (more…)

June 28, 2012. Tags: , , , , , , , . Blogging, Comedy, Comedy writing, Fiction, Humour, Publishing. 9 comments.

You just can’t make it up

“Cern’s in France,” one of the cast of Martini Bond was telling me. “No, Switzerland,” I said. “France. My sister used to live there.” I quickly looked it up: “It’s on the Franco-Swiss border… Besides, it’s fiction, and I thought you could just make it up.” But one thing I’m learning is that you can’t. (more…)

June 25, 2012. Tags: , , , , , , , , , . Blogging, Comedy, Comedy writing, Fiction, Humour, Publishing. 12 comments.

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