When a cheese sandwich is not vegetarian

“There are two rules. I don’t cook vegetarian food and you’ve got to take us out once a month for a meal,” my Dad told me as I moved back in with my parents.

I’m not divorcing, just doing our marital home up, which may end in divorce. Perhaps we could just cut out the middle bit and not do the house up. “Oh and we need a bathroom rota,” Dad continued. So that’s three rules then.

“What’s that?” I said, pointing to what looked like a cheese salad sandwich.

“It’s a cheese salad sandwich. For your sister. When she pops in for lunch.”

“I think you’ll find that’s vegetarian. And counts as cooking.”

Dad fixed me with a steely stare. I waved some cash in front of his eyes and said: “Rent.”

Yep. This is going to work out.

Have you moved back in with your parents – ever?  Would you want your grown-up children back with you – ever? Or do you just love – or hate – vegetarian food? I want to hear your views!

May 30, 2013. Tags: , , , , , , . Comedy, Comedy writing, Cooking, Humour.


  1. Amritorupa Kanjilal (Rivers I Have Known) replied:

    Though I am a non-vegetarian, I often eat veg by choice for days, because I’m not too fond of meat or fish. Eggs are a different story though…
    I love my parents but I would never move back with them for longer than two weeks. I have considered moving into the same neighbourhood to be close to them but not the same house.

    Do visit!

    • WomanBitesDog replied:

      Very wise not to live with parents. It’s much better to have them nearby! Thanks for your comment.

  2. Vanessa replied:

    I lived with my husbands parents for three weeks before we moved to the UK for a year in 2009. It was fab for the first couple of days, but by day 18 I was chomping at the bit. Between his mum’s obsession with fiber and his Dad’s snoring and crazy hours (he would be up at 430 everyday!) I couldn’t get on that plane fast enough!

    • WomanBitesDog replied:

      OMG. Am very worried about how husband will cope with in-laws. Thanks for sharing your experience. Sounds like I would want a plane ticket too.

  3. Ralph replied:

    I don’t know whether to laugh or take this seriously. Help me out here !!?!! Ralph xox 😀

    • WomanBitesDog replied:

      Laughing is good.

      • Ralph replied:

        I am with you there !! I hope things are working out for you at your parents’ house. It must be difficult for all of you.

  4. capocassidy replied:

    My only rule is the 3-night max rule

  5. Hanne B replied:

    Just recently had to stay with my Dad for 2 weeks after he had had minor surgery. It was mostly to make sure he got all his medications on time. I decided to park the camper in the driveway so I was not actually in the house. That camper may be the only reason he is still alive and I am not in prison. On a side note, Gary did not stay with me he stayed 2 miles away at my flat.

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