Sporting gods of empty seats and dark arts

The stress levels are beginning to rise. We have one week to go until the show opens. We’re on the front page CommanderBond website, who told me their rivals, MI6, have also published an article on Martini Bond. The publicity is going well but tickets still need to be sold.

I’ve been spooked a bit this week, and I don’t mean by James Bond fansites. I went along to a couple of fellow acts to see their shows: comedian Rosie Wilby and Sheffield University students in Northern Droll, at the Camden Head, the venue where we will be performing.

Both acts were great. Rosie the professional swung her ball for Team GB in her Olympic Swingball Champion 2012. And Northern Droll made a valiant effort at being, well, droll. I say valiant, because I was the only full-paying member of the audience. And Rosie didn’t fare much better with her bums-on-seats figures. An announcement was made to make a donation to her show.

This filled me with dread. I didn’t want our show to look like this:

Empty seats at Olympics

OK, so most of the people hadn’t taken their seats yet. Oh, have I mentioned we were there, at the Olympics, on Super Saturday?


But more like this:

Olympics full stadium

Come and see Martini Bond, I wanted to shout. It will be just as good. Well, we have put in just as much effort and training…

But perhaps the sporting gods on Mount Olympus are still working against theatreland. Now that’s what I call dark arts.

August 9, 2012. Tags: , , , , , , . Comedy, Comedy writing, Fiction, Publishing, Theatre.


  1. jmmcdowell replied:

    Maybe once everyone leaves in a few days, the locals will jump on the chance to get back out and do normal activities…. I would!

    • WomanBitesDog replied:

      Hope life will start to get back to normal – and people decide to go out!

  2. 4amWriter replied:

    Everything will be just fine! Wow. One week to go. Exciting.

    • WomanBitesDog replied:

      Feel sick. Feel excited. Feel sick again. Can’t quite believe it’s all happening…

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