Learning a thing or two from Russ Abbot

“I can’t thank you enough for giving me the line: ‘Now pay attention, Bond’,” one of the actors said to me as he was playing around with accents. Great. But then he added: “What about adding in a joke around Basildon Bond [the stationers]?” That’s a groan gag, I said, trying not to groan.

Along the lines of Premium Bond, I said. I’ve tried to cut those out, I said.

Martini Bond rehearsals

Golden eye: James Edenborough throws himself into Bond rehearsals


Then he remembered that British comedian Russ Abbot had also created the Bond parody character of the same name – Basildon Bond in the Man with the Golden Labrador. (Note the evil villain with the cat – as in Bond villains’ pets … and meerkats.)

It’s good to see the cast are getting into their characters, though. And doing their research. One of the cast circulated a YouTube clip of the line ‘DoubleOh DoubleOh’. All 193* instances of a character saying “Double Oh” from all 23 Bond films. (*For the true Bond fans, technically there were 196 but three of them coincided with other loud noise/speaking that made them unintelligible, the clip uploaderers say.)

Julia Collier in Martini Bond rehearsals

Julia Collier rehearsing her part of Ms Pennypincher

Rehearsals, by the way, are looking good. “I need to get the energy and the speed up but all that will come once we have finished blocking,” Helen Niland, the director, told me. And no doubt once they have watched Russ Abbot and DoubleOh.

July 5, 2012. Tags: , , , , , , , , , . Comedy, Comedy writing, Fiction, Humour, Theatre.


  1. mskatykins replied:

    Wow, Russ Abbot, he’s a (great!) blast from the past! 🙂

    • Missus Tribble replied:

      I always loved Russ Abbot too! Do you remember the sketch in which he was singing “My Christmas Record Is A Big Cock-Up”? Hysterical 🙂

      • WomanBitesDog replied:

        I don’t remember that sketch – but I used to watch him alot when he was on telly. Cracks me up.

      • Missus Tribble replied:

        “See Yoo, Jimmy!” 😀

        I suspect that you can find the song on Youtube – I’d be very surprised if it isn’t there!

      • WomanBitesDog replied:

        Yes, I’m definitely going to search for it! Thanks for the tip.

      • Missus Tribble replied:

        Heheh, that song has to be about 25 years old now and it STILL makes me laugh! 😀

      • Missus Tribble replied:

        I can’t find it (boo) but here’s how the main body of it goes:

        My Christmas record is a big cock-up
        It’s far too late or far too soon
        I’m sat here singing
        Of sleighbells ringing
        Now we’re here in flaming June

        Like some great big wally
        I sing of holly
        And Christmas turkeys growing fat
        I’m such a bummer
        We’re here in early summer
        It’s no wonder I feel such a prat

        My Mum STILL has this recorded on VCR… over the years it has been watched and rewatched more times than I can count 🙂

      • WomanBitesDog replied:


      • Missus Tribble replied:

        Haha, I know! Seriously, it was so funny!

        I miss real comedy 🙂

      • mskatykins replied:

        I don’t, unfortunately and I was just trying to find it on youtube! The most clear memory in my head was him in a fat suit bouncing off a woman in a fat suit… Hmm. Good times! 🙂

      • WomanBitesDog replied:

        That doesn’t sound so good – but you made me laugh!

      • mskatykins replied:


    • WomanBitesDog replied:

      Yeah, he is. Hope my Bond jokes aren’t…

  2. Judith replied:

    How about Unibond –for when Bond is in a sticky situation

  3. crubin replied:

    I can’t imagine what a thrill it must be to see actors saying your lines. 🙂

    • WomanBitesDog replied:

      Yes it is. And a thrill to see a real theatre ticket with the name of the play on it!

  4. lightningpen replied:

    Hi, Bond is ripe with utter seriousness and bravado, which lends itself to over the top seriousness and awkward hurt yourself in the process bravado! The two of which create swirling waves of comedy, but you have to be ruthless! A spy once said, stop poking my eye and beating me up, I’m trying to watch a movie! Now we’ve all been there, so I won’t mention it, whatever it was I just wrote! Thank you for the follow! Keep inspiring the world’s dreams thru laughter! Good luck with your show!

  5. 4amWriter replied:

    This is getting more and more exciting, I bet. What a thrill it must be for you.

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