Martini Bond’s big break

I noticed that something had gone into my junk mail box. And I always, I mean ALWAYS, check my junk mail. Because one day there won’t be that spam from Nigeria demanding money because your friend has purportedly been held up at gun-point. No, one day it will be your BIG BREAK. And it will be sitting in your junk mail box, ready for auto-deletion.

My email provider warned me: “DO NOT TRUST THIS SENDER.” But I ignored it and clicked right ahead with SHOW ALL CONTENT. Ha! Yes, I know how to take risks. After all, I know my Lotto numbers are going to come up one day, it’s just that I’ve spent years, and I mean YEARS, really donating to charity.

The email opened. “I am the Creative Producer … and wondered if your company would be interested in performing at our 340-seat theatre in September 20-23?” it read.

Interested? 340 seats? INTERESTED? 340 SEATS? My eyes popped out of my head. I had an adrenaline rush so strong I was on the ceiling. My only thought was: “Where do I sign?” Only I couldn’t reach the pen because I was stuck on the ceiling. And I hadn’t actually been offered a contract, yet. But let’s not dwell on the small print just now…

I had been planning to approach one or two London fringe theatres to see if they would take Martini Bond, after all I was hoping to piggyback onto the new Bond film Skyfall out later this year and the 50th anniversary of the James Bond franchise.

But someone out there had been thinking the same thing and had found me first.

I can’t say any more at this stage. I don’t want to jinx anything – looks like I’m already becoming the superstitious theatrical type. But I may go as far as: Martini Bond could be on the verge of its big break – or at the very least, a fantastic opportunity.

July 2, 2012. Tags: , , , , , , , , . Blogging, Comedy, Comedy writing, Humour, Publishing, Theatre.


  1. on thehomefrontandbeyond replied:

    break a leg

  2. Amritorupa Kanjilal replied:

    Very weirdly, yesterday I opened my span folder just by chance and found a mail there asking me to submit my writing to a prestigious magazine. Thankfully I wasn’t too late to respond. That experience, and your post, has made me promise myself I will check my spam everyday.

    Do visit!

  3. Missus Tribble replied:

    That’s fantastic! Do keep us posted! 😀

  4. mskatykins replied:

    Fabulous! I’m not keen on cliches, but clearly, what’s for you won’t go by you! Good for you! 🙂 Great start to the week! 🙂

  5. nickee todd replied:

    Bloody marvellous. Crossing everything for you. I checked my junk box, so to speak, just now to check in case anyone was trying to publish me/promote me/give money to me. What I did find is that my penis is apparently not big enough. I don’t have the heart to tell them I don’t have one.

  6. Pauline Guerin replied:

    fantastic! I truly hope it comes off for you. How come things like that don’t happen to me lol

  7. Gina replied:

    Fantastic! Surely it’s because of your new sex scenes!!

  8. crubin replied:

    Absolutely wonderful! Congrats! And now I know to always check my junk mail…

  9. jmmcdowell replied:

    Hey, congratulations! That is great news. So far nothing like that in my junk mail, but maybe someday! 🙂

    Maybe someday in the not too distant future you’ll be bringing Martini stateside!

    • WomanBitesDog replied:

      Thanks for the congrats. Yes, I may have some news on coming stateside too. Or at least how you may be able to see the play…But am waiting until I know the details…

  10. 4amWriter replied:

    Gosh, maybe I need to check my spam folder more seriously! What a great break for you. Wishing you you-know-what 😉

  11. L. Palmer replied:

    Congrats! Hope it succeeds. This could be a great opportunity

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